This is the blog of Tim Schwartz. I live in Galveston, TX with my wife Jenn. We moved here a little over a year ago to help out with disaster recovery after Hurricane Ike. We have been doing all we possibly can to restore lives, rebuild homes and churches, and help this island recover. On Tuesday, February 16th, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor after having a seizure earlier in the day. It is 1″x2″ on the left side near the place where speech and motor function come from. This blog is about my experience of having a brain tumor. It is about my hope-filled road to recovery and what God is doing in this and through this. Thanks for your thoughts! Thanks for your prayers! Thanks for walking with me!
Dude – I miss you. I love you. I am praying for you. And Jenn. And baby. And I actually read something! You should be so proud of me!
So this is what it takes to get you to tell me you love me? just kidding. thanks for your note…let’s talk sometime…
Hey Tim and Jenn
Know that we are praying for you both, the baby and all the medical people who will be helping you in the days and weeks ahead (as well as the family here in the East).
God is holding you in His hands!
Let us know of anything we can do from this end to help.
Amy and George Hawthorne
I prayed for you today in my pastoral prayer as Interim Pastor of FBC Mount Holly NJ and will continue to pray everyday. I am visualizing you performing your daughter’s wedding many years from now, with the proud mother of the bride tearfully looking on. I ask the Great Physician to excise it totally. Your EKG – Experiencing King Glory(my sermon last Sunday from Psalm 24:8 The Message) will show it. So keep on preaching my dear friend. God has a plan for you in all of this- AND LOOK FOR THE BLESSINGS. Love you both, well, the 3 of you. Ned
Hey Tim
guess by the name you know who this is,did not have an email for you but wanted to reach out and tell you we are thinking of you and praying for your full recovery to health.
Having got similar news from a dr a few years ago I understand the initial shock and fear that goes with it.So much runs thru your head and very little of it is positive,we have a tendancy to go to the extreme when we picture the unknown.Thank god mine is small and is not growing so probably something i will die with rather than from.Course every now and then when i get an odd feeling somewhere in my head or upper body you tend to wonder.
You are so lucky to have your faith and family and friends who love you and constantly pray for you, there are many who dont have that.Joanne and I are kept up to date by your mom she is a wonderful woman and i am so glad to call her my friend.The neighbors stood by me in a time that was difficult and never judged me and for that i will be eternally grateful.You take care of yourself and your family if you get a chance drop us a line in the mean time Tim may god bless and keep you safe we dont have enough good people in the world.
Patrick
Tim, just saw this site. I am so sorry to hear about your unwelcome discovery. We are thinking of you. I told my husband not too long about your effervescent greeting you’d give me at JMU!
My best to you and yours –
Casey
Hey Tim, Conda forwarded the link to your blog. Great way to keep everyone posted on the latest. Consider Tuesday’s prayer request granted, we will be praying for the best possible news. Take care my friend and keep the faith. God is good – all the time.
Hey Tim,
My thoughts and prayers are with you. Congrats on the baby. I was so excited when I heard. God wants that baby to have a wonderful Daddy, so I’m sure everything will be fine. Chin up.
Jeanette
We are keeping you, Jenn and the baby we were unaware you were expecting in our prayers. Know that you are thought of always. There are always times when we have to be strong. God does give us the strength. Sometimes our shoulders are very large. I will keep in touch. thanks for sharing with us.
Tim, I am thinking of you constantly and praying for you. Yesterday’s doctor visits are encouraging. Hang in there.
Tim, I can’t tell you how upset George and I were when we heard the news about your tumor. We are so sorry you and Jenn have to go through this ordeal especially on the heals of finding out you are going to be parents soon. Congratulations on that wonderful news!! Talk about both ends of a spectrum…wow!! We know you will be strong and are very impressed with your ability to do this blog. I know it will help you in many ways. We are keeping you in our thoughts and prayers. You have been an important person in our lives and we feel so blessed to know you.
Hey Timmy
Just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you – praying for you – and know you’ll make it through this. Aster Lane is here for you. We all love you very much!
Jenn, I am shocked! I am so sorry that you both are going through this. I am praying for you and keeping you close in thoughts! If you need anything that I can help you with please do not hesitate to let me know.
Congratulations on your pregnancy and I wish you a smooth and healthy nine months.
Although it is true that God will never give us more than we can handle it does not mean that it is easy or even “fair.” Wishing you the best! Stay strong and trust in God’s Master plan…it WILL be ok.
~Jackie Joyce-Stevens
Tim and Jenn,
We are keeping you as close in our thoughts and prayers as possible. We want to do whatever we can for you, so please call upon us at any time. We love you!
Dear Tim, You have been on my mind since i found out about your situation, and wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. We do have an awesome God who helps us through everything in our lives. We know that God will be with you through all of this and that there are miracles for each of us who believe. I pray for you and Jenn each and everyday that he will give you both the strength you need to go thru each day for you Tim and for Jenn caring your precious child which God will bless you with in Sept. I have asked many of my friends to pray for you as well, because prayer is a special part of our lives and we know that God hears each and everyone. My blessings and love to you both. Love Suzy
Dear Tim,
I am Brian B.’S Mom. You and he were in Youth group at JMU when I met you . Yesterday,my students (20 or so ) prayed for you aloud before class. I told them how much I admired you as a positive role model for others at college and as a young man who works “Full Time ” for the Lord .
The Lord used you in college ,through your twenties, and now again,he is using you to show others the way .
You are young, healthy and have the best in doctors .God will help you through all of this .Stay close to the Word ,friends,family and laugh and enjoy as you are doing . Your writing is a witness to so many others in similar battles .God is using you mightily with your ability to communicate .I will begin to print your blog and pass around class daily as of next week at a Catholic H.S.
Our prayers are for healing, courage ,blessings for you and Jenn, new baby and doctors and nurses ,therapists ,and all with whom you will meet and work over this transitional period.
Remember ” Fear not,for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name :you are mine .
When you pass through the water, I will
be with you ,
in the rivers you shall not drown .
When you walk through fire,you shall not be
burned .
The flames shall not consume you .
For I am the Lord ,you God ,the Holy One
of Israel,your savior. ” Isiah 43 ,1-2 .
May our Lord bless your every step of the road ahead ..
Judy B.
Hey Tim its been a long time since seen you or talked to you but when I heard about this through your brothers Facebook I was devastated, but I know you will make it through. You are one of the only people I know that can take a bad situation and find the positives in a humorous way. I will continue to pray for you and your family. Stay Strong, God will take care of you buddy.
Hey Tim, It’s Deb Taylor from UBC in Scranton. I know the weight you are carrying right now. I know the scared moments, heck, not moments, but sometimes every waking hour. There is an image that is always with me from the day I got sick to this very day, and every day to come.
Jesus, standing in a long white robe, long flowing hair, eyes filled with love and passion. He’s standing on the beach, (my favorite spot) with His arms stretched out. I run to him and he scoops me up and cradles me like a baby, as YOU WILL BE DOING IN SEPTEMBER, and I look upon that face, and all is well. I am calmed and unafraid. Tim, He is with us at all times.
He will guide whoever needs guiding to take care of this tumor. He will do this, and we will pray continuously.
Love you guys,
Debbie
tim,
I was at Pughtown Baptist last night and Pastor Rhonda included you in the prayers. So, afterwords i talked to her and got a little update, she then sent me this link. i will forward it to the others in the ministerium and we will all be praying for you. i will be praying for healing and that God will use this experience in a special way as it seems he already is through this blog and i am sure the way that you conduct yourself at all times. Be strong in the Lord brother. May God bless you and Jen in every way and especially in unexpected ways. i know that you have a lot going, but feel free to call anytime you would like – to chat or for a “dial a prayer” if you ever need.
Grace & Peace,
Blaine
Went to church this morning and said an extra prayer for you! Thinking about you! Always, Kristin
Dear Tim,
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Kathy
Dear Tim, My thoughts and prayers are with you each and everydayand knowing what you still have to go throughyet, but we know that our god is awesome God and that he will never leave you or forsake you. He love us unconditionally each and everyday of our lives. We don’t know why things happen to us but he does things for a reason and we can’t question why. I know that God works miracles and that we are to just keep praying everyday to him and asking him to pour many blessings out to you his son.My thoughts and prayers as well for Jenn and your new little one to be in your lives in Sept. God Bless you both. Love , Suzy
Tim and Jenn,
Our paths almost crossed in Denver, I was visiting family a week before your visit. I have been thinking of you both frequently and your description of your trip have me smiling and with a saddened heart at the same time ~ Denver and especially Estes Park hold powerful emotions for me. I can only imagine the polar emotions that you are experiencing. As your lives continued to move forward, please know that my thoughts, my prayers and my heart is close to you both. I look forward to sharing the celebrations that lie ahead for both of you, sometimes we have to appreciate each day as a celebration ~ for life is truly a gift! God bless and keep you safe.
Barbara
Thinking of you an Jenn on your journey. As Jenn may remember, i too have survived a brain tumor. My prayers are with you. Let me know if I can lend any additional moral support . Gary
Tim and Jenn:
I cana’t even imagine how scary this is for both of you. Aunt Letty is praying for you and I am sending big hugs and good wishes through the universe, straight to Texas. Because I’m the most optimistic atheist you know, I’m positive that things will work out well, which is just the way they’re supposed to! I can remember how tenacious you were on the basketball court, Tim, so bring some of that to the surgical suite. You’re a wonderful couple and I will always be grateful that you rescued Ed from the grips of the ICC cult and took him to the Baptists (less drinking?). Full steam ahead to recovery!!
Love and Hugs, Ed’s Mom
Thanks Ed’s mom – I am so glad that you are on this journey with us – thanks so much for your thoughts and prayers! Tim
Tim and Jenn, Our thoughts and prayers are with you tomorrow as they have been since we heard about your “cabeca.” We are praying for Dr. Lang and the whole staff, every hand that will be a healing touch tomorrow and in your recovery. Your friends at The Baptist Church in the Great Valley, Devon, PA.
Tim and Jenn,
You don’t know me – I’m your (Tim’s) grandmom’s pacemaker nurse. I’m praying and have sent prayer requests to my church (Glenside Bible) and my mom’s church in Fla. All I can say to you both is WOW. I’m so sorry you are both going through this and so glad that God is with you through all this. He is so good through all things. WOW. Thank you for the privledge of getting to know you both through this website. There’s so much to say in my heart, for you both, for your parents, please know my prayers are with you and thank you for allowing me to do that. Terry
Tim, you don’t know me, just chanced upon your blog via Facebook. I just wanted to let you know that I will be praying for you as you and your family walk through this trial. Hang on tight to the Lord, and know how loved you are.
Dear Tim and Jenn,
I just found out after coming across one of Mike’s posts on fb. Sorry I’ve missed so much of your journey. I hope you’ll allow me to join you from here through recovery. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your families. You both lead exemplary lives and we can all learn a great deal from your courage. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help.
Sincerely,
Zaid
Tim:
It looks like you and I have the same time of tumor. Hang in there. The only way to beat these things is through FAITH. You are doing great!
Tom
Dear Tim,
I discovered your blog while searching for information about partial seizures I had a while back and have been touched by your story. I hope this post will be encouraging to you during this time. While my struggles did not last as long as yours have and did not required the amount of endurance that yours are requiring, the similarities as far as faith journeys and life journeys are striking to me. I have lived to see the other side of a serious illness and want to reaffirm to you and to others who are reading your blog that God is faithful and will use this pain, questioning, fatigue, and even fear for His glory and for your good. He will bless you and make His face to shine upon you. I believe with all my heart that He wants to show us how much he loves us when we are at our worst, it’s just hard sometimes for us to hear Him through our own pain and fear.
My brain injury occurred a little over 2 years ago when my second child was 3 days old. I had a condition called PRES, with an underlying condition that caused some liver and kidney damage. I understand the panic that can overtake a new parent, or soon-to-be new parent when you face something hard.
The seizures I had did not leave me unconscious, but made me feel sickened and as if I was gasping for air. My eyes would not focus and the right side of my body had sort of an indescribable feel to it. These seizures happened several times a day, even after my brain began to heal. I felt awful– I could barely hold my baby, but clung to her and smelled her soft little head praying that God’s will would be done. I prayed that God would let me raise this child and my five year-old.
I have a bit of perspective and distance now, and can see things in hindsight that I could not see during the months that I suffered. I hope they help:
1.) God was with me during the scary parts, but He had to speak to me in different ways than I was accustomed to hearing Him. Usually God speaks to me through the reading of His word or directly to my heart when I pray, but I was not able to read, nor was I able to be still, calm, and listen to Him when the pain was intense or the fear was out of control. Even when I thought I was calm, I look back and realize I was not. As I look back, I realize God spoke by bringing hymns to mind, sending a phenomenal nurse during the really scary times, leading my husband to read specific Bible verses to me. Look for expressions of God’s love and faithfulness in ways that are not the norm for you.
2.) God used my experience to help define who I am. I had defined myself as an intellectual, and had to wonder what would my life be like if I could never read or see again, or never do my job again. After I got better, God helped me see that it’s not my credentials that make me valuable to Him, it’s a heart for others. It’s an ability to realize that He is in control and that He IS love. Life is much richer for me now. He did lead me back into the same job, but I don’t define myself by my job and my degrees anymore.
3.) Cliché as it will sound, it is a very rare and “off” day that I sweat the small stuff now.
4.) Dependence on others is humbling and at times frustrating, but it will be okay. I remember trying to make a stupid meatloaf when I got home from the hospital and had no business being out of bed. I don’t even like meatloaf. It was a disaster that ended with a whole lotta tomato sauce everywhere except the pan. Let others show how much they love you. You will never forget their kindness and it will give you a lasting appreciation for your relationships. And, a day will come when you realize you can mow the lawn and cook dinner without getting tired, and you will be thrilled at mundane chores in a way you never thought possible☺
5.) The definition of “fear” has changed for me. There is not much that scares me now, not even death. I would hate to leave my husband and my children, but I know that even if that ever happened, they know that God is in control and so do I. I have seen what lies very close to edge of eternity and have been given the rare gift of meeting God there. I try to take the verse telling us to “be anxious about nothing, but with everything with prayer and thanksgiving, present your requests to God,” as a commandment, not just as a comforting statement as I once did.
6.) If you don’t already have one, think of keeping a scripture journal. That helped me tremendously.
I want to leave you with 2 verses from my daughter’s baby dedication service: Psalm 23:6 and Jeremiah 29:11. May God give you peace and strength,
Addie